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When you're calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to actually answer. Random joke:
Joke about plumber
What are the three rules for being a plumber?
1. Hot water is always on the left.
2. Shit doesn't flow uphill
3. Never chew your fingernails.

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My middle finger salutes you! Random quote:
Quote vulgar
Everybody loves you when they are about to cum

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