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Husband and wife jokes


Jokes : 28 
  Letter : H 

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N 28: Joke about cheating, husband, wife and confidence
What is the definition of Confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You’re next!"

N 27: Joke about husband, wife
A wife complains to her husband: "Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can't you do the same?"
The husband: "Are you mad? I barely know that woman!"

N 26: Joke about husband, wife
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"
The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

N 25: Joke about husband, wife black
Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her
bedroom. But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the blanket!
Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for the baseball bat and starts
hitting the blanket until the screaming stops.
Still in shock, she lurches to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Oh welcome home darling," he says, "your parents came
for a visit, so I let them have our bedroom. I hope you said hello."

N 24: Joke about husband, wife vulgar
My wife and I really love bondage.
She loves it because she's a kinky bitch.
I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.

N 23: Joke about husband, wife, masturbation vulgar
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!

N 22: Joke about husband, wife
Husband (watching a video):
Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!
Wife: Honey, why you so mad? What'aya watching?
Husband: Our wedding ceremony.

N 21: Joke about husband, wife, prostitute vulgar
A husband and wife are having financial troubles.
They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash.
The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours later.
She gets in the car and says, "Look, I made $40.50!"
"What jerk gave you 50 cents?" he asks.
"All of them!"

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