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N 485: Joke about teacher
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

N 484: Joke about opinion cynical
Do you remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? That's right, me neither.

N 483: Joke about yourself and unicorn
Always be yourself. Unless you can also be a unicorn. In that case, always be a unicorn.

N 482: Joke about bar and bra
What is the similarity between a bar and a bra ?
They both drive men crazy when they open.

N 481: Joke about bra
I‘ve been trying to open the bra of my girlfriend for 20 minutes now...
I wish I had never put it on.

N 480: Joke about headache and children
If you have been struck by a headache, follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle:

N 479: Joke about dentists and question
Dental-Chair Revelation: Once you have your mouth open, dentists lose the ability to ask questions with a simple yes or no answer.

N 478: Joke about little johnny and crocodile
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.
"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny.
He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one.
Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

N 477: Joke about bar and men
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

N 476: Joke about teacher, chemistry wordplay
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no

N 475: Joke about husband
I’ve received hundred of responses to my ad seeking a husband, and they all say the exact same thing:
"Take mine, please."

N 474: Joke about lesbian, vampire short
What does one lesbian vampire say to the other?
Same time next month?

N 473: Joke about god, men, dildo vulgar
Why did God even create men?
Because He couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator that would mow the lawn.

N 472: Joke about adam and eve
Why did God make Adam before Eve?
Everyone needs a rough draft before they make the final copy.

N 471: Joke about hurt cynical
The last thing I want to do is to hurt you.
But we'll get there eventually, once I've gone through the entire list.

N 470: Joke about stupidity, cynical short
Of course you're not stupid.
You just have bad luck when you think.

N 469: Joke about x-ray, photography, cynical short
Some people's x-rays actually look much better than their photographs.

N 468: Joke about women, men, shadow, prostitute vulgar
A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty bucks," she says.
He's never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them... it's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face."

N 467: Joke about boys and girls vulgar
boy: spell "me"
girl: M-E
boy: but you forgot the D
girl: there's no D in me
boy: not yet;)

N 466: Joke about birds, mouse black
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

N 465: Joke about women and phone
When you're calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to actually answer.

N 464: Joke about women and trouble
Help a woman when she's in trouble. She will remember you when she's in trouble again.

N 463: Joke about wallet, onion short
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.

N 462: Joke about secrets
Of course I can keep secrets. But the people I tell them to obviously can't.

N 461: Joke about slut, vulgar short
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?

N 460: Joke about lawyer black
What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.

N 459: Joke about pinocchio short
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.

N 458: Joke about foreplay short
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time.

N 457: Joke about chicken
Why do chickens raise one leg when they sleep?
Because if they lifted both, they’d fall over.

N 456: Joke about cheating, husband, wife and confidence
What is the definition of Confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You’re next!"

N 455: Joke about cannibals, trust, blow job vulgar
What’s the definition of “trust”?
Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

N 454: Joke about light bulb, freud, penis vulgar
How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis, I mean ladder.

N 453: Joke about women
What do women and prawns have in common?
Their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste great.

N 452: Joke about blonde
What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It’s difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

N 451: Joke about women, men
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

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