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When you're calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to actually answer. Random joke:
Joke about pets
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up.
Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

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My middle finger salutes you! Random quote:
Quote about smoking
It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.

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