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When you're calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to actually answer.

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Joke about apple and lawyer
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
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My middle finger salutes you!

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Quote about interrupt
I'm very sorry to interrupt you, but you must have mistaken me for somebody who's interested.
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