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N 2: Joke about shopping and turkey
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." N 1: Quote about shopping and sex
Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.