Funnypedia

< previous  | 2 | next > N 70: Quote about women, men
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. N 69: Quote about religion
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. N 68: Quote about sex
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. N 67: Quote about god
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. N 66: Quote about idiots
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. N 65: Quote about driving and wife
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. N 64: Quote about laziness
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor. N 63: Quote about money
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million. N 62: Quote about karate and movies
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. N 61: Quote about relatives
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives. N 60: Quote about work
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? N 59: Quote about men
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. N 58: Quote about arguments
There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side. N 57: Quote about marriage
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. N 56: Quote about insurance
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? N 55: Quote about fishing
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. N 54: Quote about insurance and marriage
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. N 53: Quote about women
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. N 52: Quote about laugh short
He who laughs last didn't get it. N 51: Quote about evil
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. N 50: Quote about beer
Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. N 49: Quote about pleasure
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. N 48: Quote about health
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. N 47: Quote about love
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? N 46: Quote about life
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. N 45: Quote about vegetarian
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. N 44: Quote about life, sex short
Life is a sexually transmitted disease. N 43: Quote about women and sex
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. N 42: Quote about uniqueness
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. N 41: Quote about heaven and death
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. N 40: Quote about doctor
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. N 39: Quote about girls
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! N 38: Quote about time
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils N 37: Quote about death black
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. N 36: Quote about success
The road to success is always under construction. < previous  | 2 | next >