Funnypedia

N 11: Joke about marriage short
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it! N 10: Quote about marriage and love
If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles. N 9: Story about marriage, daughter, virgin vulgar
A Mother had three virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"! Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop". Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter. The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size" She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter. The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways” Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA. The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways." Mom fainted! N 8: Quote about marriage
Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint. N 7: Quote about marriage
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. N 6: Quote about insurance and marriage
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. N 5: Quote about marriage
Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. N 4: Quote about marriage
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. N 3: Quote about love and marriage
If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate books. N 2: Quote about women, men and marriage
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. N 1: Quote about marriage
Second marriage: the triumph of hope over experience