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N 839: Joke about dating
Dating ANGLO/SAXON WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only when she wants to and only in the missionary position.
ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you realize nothing is ever going to happen.
MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You spend all your money to impress her.
Second Date: You take a loan to keep the image.
Third Date: You're broke, she finds someone wealthier.
ARAB WOMEN
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead in the street and your balls are fed to the goats.
No third date!
The POINT:
Don't you just LOVE the IRISH? N 838: Joke about slut, vulgar short
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
Full. N 837: Joke about lawyer black
What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog. N 836: Joke about pinocchio short
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire. N 835: Joke about foreplay short
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time. N 834: Joke about chicken
Why do chickens raise one leg when they sleep?
Because if they lifted both, they’d fall over. N 833: Joke about cheating, husband, wife and confidence
What is the definition of Confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You’re next!" N 832: Joke about cannibals, trust, blow job vulgar
What’s the definition of “trust”?
Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob. N 831: Joke about light bulb, freud, penis vulgar
How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis, I mean ladder. N 830: Joke about women
What do women and prawns have in common?
Their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste great. N 829: Joke about cat
N 828: Joke about elephant
N 827: Joke about bicycle
N 826: Joke about strawberry and sex
N 825: Joke about cat
N 824: Joke about porn vulgar
N 823: Joke about pee
N 822: Joke about banana and ice cream
N 821: Joke about blonde
What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It’s difficult to open the legs of an ironing board. < previous  | 3 | next >