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A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.
"That won't help you, Joe, you know?"
"Oh it helps a lot," says the man, "it's the only way I can see the numbers!"

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Joke about women, men
A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?"
She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?"
From the back of the room came a voice, "He'd be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries."
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Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying
in a new BMW than on a bike.

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Quote about life
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that's all.
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