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A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.
"That won't help you, Joe, you know?"
"Oh it helps a lot," says the man, "it's the only way I can see the numbers!"

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Joke about beer
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying
in a new BMW than on a bike.

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Quote about love and marriage
If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate books.
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