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TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

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- What's the difference between a lawyer and an undertaker?
- A Lawyer doesn't mind getting his hands dirty while burying his victims.
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Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.

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All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.
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