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A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.
"That won't help you, Joe, you know?"
"Oh it helps a lot," says the man, "it's the only way I can see the numbers!"

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Joke about school
Teacher: Give me an example of animal.
Jimmy: Frog
Teacher: Give me another.
Jimmy: Another Frog.
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Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying
in a new BMW than on a bike.

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Quote about wisdom
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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